Have you ever had one of those moments in life where you stop, kind of shake your head and smile, and wonder, "How did I get here?" I had one of those moments the other night.
I was making Graham's lunch for school the next day, and all of a sudden it just hit me. I'm a mom. Like, a legit MOM, the kind you pretend to be when you're 5 and playing house. I'm making a sunbutter (food allergies, people) and jelly sandwich for my son's school lunch. Who AM I??
These days of littles are so very long sometimes. They are tedious and monotonous, yet loud and crazy. Messy, chaotic, peaceful and sweet. Frustration and exhaustion and pure unbridled joy, all rolled into one great big ball called "Motherhood".
But that sandwich. It stopped me cold. It reminded me of just how fast it all truly does go. (and now I want to slap myself in the face for saying that. Remind me not to be someone who does that in grocery stores. At least without a 'but you probably want to run away and hide and drink gallons of wine some days don't you dear?' added to the end.)
When the days seem long and the baby doesn't nap and I can't remember if I showered yesterday or two days ago and is the laundry in the washer from last night or yesterday? (it makes a difference)...I want to remember that sandwich. And that when I was five, if you asked me what I wanted to be, my answer was always immediate: a teacher and a mommy. I've learned that I am a teacher in a thousand ways (and that teaching school was not actually my thing), and, well, quite obviously I'm a mommy. So I am living my childhood dreams, right now. I may not have fully understood that sweeping the floor in a cute little apron wasn't quite as 'Cinderella-esque' as I imagined it would be, but I can choose to whistle while I work. Yes. I'm combining Disney princesses. Listen, I have boys, I do what I can.
So, weary mama, I hope this encourages you. Remember that you are in fact, most likely, living out your childhood dreams right this very moment...they just look a little different in the daylight. May your day be short, nap time be long, your coffee strong and the wine poured early. Amen.